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Glenn Beck wears magical underwear to protect him from evil, but are vampires evil?

Vampires seem to have it out for me, I’m not sure why but I think it has to do with the fact that I am a twilight fan.. For some reason, me spreading around the rumor that the sparkle in the light just upsets them.

Crosses, holy water, garlic, rivers, and silver bullets have no effect on them. But I am wondering, does magical mormon underwear keep the undead at bay? I know that Glenn is quite a genius when it comes to exposing the socialists in this country, and his critical thinking is upheld by millions. Perhaps I too should don some magical mormon underoos, this might actually be my salvation.
By the way, this is serious buizniss.. trolls please go away.
Pffft. I have a brain.. I read Glenn’s book.. you are just an idiot that has been brainwashed by the liberal media.

Glen Beck’s magical underwear: ‘is a sponge-like garment worn by individuals who are incapable of controlling their bladder or bowel movements, or are unable or unwilling to use a toilet. When nappys become full and can no longer hold any more waste, they require changing; this process is often performed by a secondary person such as a parent or caregiver. Failure to change a nappy on a regular enough basis can result in nappy rash.’

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