Rows White Crystal
December 17th, 2010
Do you like this poem?
And tell me what you like about it or don’t like about it. I’m sending it to a friend so I want to make it as good as it can be.
The Funeral
Where the sunlight comes down in crystals
Against a sky that shouldn’t be so blue
Mourners group like penguins
In expensive clothes of suitcase-black.
Humble eyes of smeared mascara
Tragic eyes of puffy pink
Are so beautiful to see amongst
The sea of solemn apathy.
Death feels cheap, like it might at war
And the pasty white corpse wears his finest suit
But forgot the coins he needs to cross
The River Styx.
The gray priest has a slight lisp as he
Reads stories from a secondhand prayer book
The magazine-cover businessman in the second row
Keeps glancing at his Rolex watch.
Emotions travel through stares
And those who never feel the sting of tears
Don’t seem to feel the death
At funerals.
Nicely structured poem, my comment is that the word “gray” is really spelt as grey, I understand too this could be a localised spelling for parts of the US but your poem would stand better if this word is corrected.
I am very much liking this piece as it is, don’t change the structure if you can help it because it is great just the way it is.
Sammy Kershaw – The Snow White Rows of Arlington
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